Fic reviews: McShep Match Days 23 & 24
Getting near the end! Soon I will actually be reading and reviewing stuff other than SGA again. XD

Day 23: Sleight of Hand

Like Pulling a Rabbit Out of a Hat by curia_regis 2/5
5300 words. When they discover alien ships heading towards Atlantis, Rodney has yet another brilliant plan to save them. Unfortunately, this plan goes horribly wrong.

Okay, so. The plot is that an ancient machine puts John and Rodney slightly out of phase with everyone else, so they can hear and see each other, but no one else can hear or see them. I was interested in this story until the point where they had sex and it caused the machines to go haywire. That just felt so ridiculous, like some weird sparkly orgasm ("Somehow, there were sparkling lights dancing all over one of the ancient consoles.") and I just...ack. It was too ridiculous for me.

Then the story just stops. The alien invasion that originally had Rodney working on this ancient machine gets taken care of, but John and Rodney are still out of phase, and the ending is literally "oh well, I'm sure we'll work this out somehow! :D :D :D" I see from the author's notes that it was a pinch hit and I can totally understand running out of time, but still. :-/

Imagine Whirled Peas by flyakate 2/5
1300 words. In which there are failed magic tricks, peanut butter and naps. Or, John and Rodney, Supportive Uncles and Master Babysitters.

I was kind of confused as to when this was taking place. Apparently during S5, I guess, since it says Torren is only a few months old. Yet it seemed like more of a futurefic setting. Oh well. Anyway, it was cute enough, though a little too fluffy for me to really get excited about.

Day 24: Open Season

Good Hunting by skinscript 3/5
8700 words. Atlantis sends teams to compete in the once in a generation Pegasus fighting competition Shaur'Atan. Once there, it's open season and everyone gets more than they bargained for.

I was kind of confused about the setup. I couldn't tell if this is what usually happened with these games and Teyla just didn't know (since they're once in a generation or something), or if it was something new (in which case, why had it never happened before? Or was the competition on a different planet before? Things were not really clear). But either way, I did like the the story. It would have been really cool if it had actually been real and Rodney killed John thinking it was a game. But of course that would have to be from Rodney's POV, which this wasn't. (Remix? But since the original is already written, the twist of it being a game or real would already be given away.)

But. The ending was really rushed. One minute John is jumping away from Rodney because he's traumatised by what happened and then the next minute it's all "let's make out! :D :D :D"

Daytime Drama by hyperfocused 1/5
9500 words. Will hero pilot John Sheppard accept the offer to start a new life as soap opera hunk Shep Johnson? Will "Atlantis!" wunderkind Rodney McKay (Rod Ingram/Meredith Ingram/series co-writer) finally win his first Zeddy? Will they find love, on-screen or off? Tune in past the cut to find out.

Okay, let's deal with the ridiculousness first. It's obviously supposed to be a fun cracky romp, but it's just really not well-written enough to pull it off. It also has a bad case of canon-reference-itis, that desire some authors have to make every damn thing in an AU be a reference to something in canon. Here it's taken to ridiculous lengths with things like "WRAITH" being an acronym for "Wee Rapidly Aged Into Teen Hottie". Now, this is definitely a common phenomenon on soap operas, no doubt about it. Kids are four one day, then they go up into the attic to play and emerge as teenagers. But exchanges like this are just really painful to read:

“It’s nice to see you so cheerful,” Kaleb told her. “She’s been down ever since Jinto Halling’s role was recast.”

“He got WRAITHed,” Madison said.

“What?”

Wee Rapidly Aged Into Teen Hottie”, Jeannie shrugged. ”Sorry. I didn’t coin the phrase.”

“It’s one of those stupid Soap Opera terms.” Rodney said.

There's also the whole thing where John and Rodney's relationship happens entirely offscreen. This fic reads like it was supposed to be gen, but had some random McShep crammed in to try and fit the fest. I mean, I am totally not exaggerating when I say that in one scene John and Rodney meet and in the very next scene they are in an established relationship. There's not even any flirting when they meet! The narration has each of them thinking the other is hot, but that's the extent of it. It was the weirdest fast-forward I've ever read.

But despite all that I'd probably still give it a two if it weren't for the part where it's also really offensive. John loses an eye in Afghanistan, but this is forgotten by both him and everyone else about two seconds after it's mentioned. He just pops in a glass eye and is good to go. To make things worse, the story of a wounded vet who becomes a soap opera star is apparently based on a real person. That makes it even skeevier! Most injuries in fanfic are hinky and bordering on offensive, but this has got to be one of the worst I've personally read (I'm sure I'd soon find worse if I read a lot of H/C).