| Travis ( @ 2009-10-29 03:16:00 |
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| Entry tags: | reviews, reviews (2009), reviews:stargate atlantis |
Fic reviews: McShep Match Days 19 & 20
Day 19: Creature Comforts
Technical Perspective: A Civilised Discourse in Interior Design by
pennyplainknits 2/5
13,800 words. Interior Designers AU, based very loosely on the Doris Day movie Pillow Talk. John Sheppard is a reclusive new designer, who invents an alter ego in order to get close to sarcastic but genius designer Rodney McKay, of Athos Partners. But what is truth, and what is a lie? And what will Rodney do when he finds out?
This was actually quite cute right up until the Big Misunderstanding. I really dislike this romance novel/romcom formula because everything is always blown way out of proportion. Here I was just cringing at Rodney's reaction (and even if John is rich and can afford it, it's sickening that he would waste all that money to completely trash John's apartment). And like, everyone gets all super defensive and hating on John, but no one thinks to take two seconds to ask what was actually going on? These things always feel so contrived. Anyway, so yeah. If you don't mind that sort of thing, you'll probably like it a lot better, but I think it would have been a better story if it had just toned down the misunderstanding to a little less cartoonish level.
Bargaining by
elementalv 1/5
3000 words. "Broken. Dick."
This felt really rushed. I wonder if it was a pinch hit. Rodney discovers an Ancient sex machine and John tries it out. That's...pretty much the gist of it. And the sex happens offscreen. Which seems odd for a fic whose entire plot is "John uses an Ancient sex machine". The dialogue and characterisation are also bad (there's one point where John makes a comment and Rodney says "I hate you with the power of a thousand suns" or something like that, totally out of proportion to John's remark, even for Rodney's usual hyperbole). And there's no hint that they're in a relationship until a couple lines before John strips in front of Rodney and gets on the machine. And cherry on top of the cake, there's a ton of telling, like John wandering around thinking for several paragraphs about how he can't express his feelings. Gah.
Day 20: Writing on the Wall
Late for the Arrival by
deltacephei 2/5
8200 words. It was no secret that people weren't Rodney's strong suit. This was probably the reason why he hadn't caught on before. The proverbial clue bus had rolled by four times before realization finally hit him like an expertly delivered kick to the head.
This is cute enough if you like this type of story, where everyone thinks John and Rodney are a couple/knows they should be together before they do. I...really don't. But I was enjoying it well enough until I got to this part:
"Oh, you don't think, huh?" Rodney narrowed his eyes at John. "Well, one thing's for sure, wherever they got the idea, it wasn't me," he said and drew himself up to full height in front of Sheppard. He knew he wasn't the least bit intimidating, not even with the accusing finger pointed straight at Sheppard's nose. "Your hair really is the only thing I can think of that could spark such assumptions!"
"What?" Sheppard asked, disbelieving. "What is this weird fascination you've got with my hair? My hair doesn't have anything to do with anything! Let me spell this out for you once again: It does this-- the--" — he gestured at it — "all on its own."
"Oh, please," Rodney said, snorting, which prompted Sheppard to take a menacing step closer. "Your careful hair-do practically screams--" Rodney trailed off when he noticed that Sheppard's attention had wandered elsewhere.