InsaneJournal

Fic reviews: McShep Match Days 9 & 10
Oh right, I was posting these... XD

Day 9: Call of the Wild

Storm Front by lavvyan 3/5
3400 words. "What, so I'm going to end up a vegetable in some hospital bed while my mind goes frolicking among the waves, is that it?"

This was an interesting story, but I really wonder at the reasoning behind making this mysterious Ancient device specifically an ascension device. We already had that episode in canon, so it just seems redundant. Rodney discovers an ascension machine and accidentally starts the process of ascending. Only the difference here is gay sex.

I think it would have been a much better story if it had been some other device. An ancient weather-controlling device that goes a bit out of control and Rodney has trouble staying in his body. There. You have essentially the same story that's there, but with the different device it avoids the confusion and comparison with the episode. Or if it is going to be another ascension device, then there needs to be more comparison. This was the same plot as the episode, but was weirdly disconnected from the fact that this had happened before. Rodney should be bitching about it being just his luck that this exact same thing happened to him twice or something. Yeah, I think that is the problem, actually. Not that it couldn't be an ascension machine, but that if it is, then it needs to reference that episode more. I could buy this happening twice to Rodney, but I really need to feel like this is the second time. This wasn't grounded enough, so it just felt like it was repeating something that had already happened, but without really expanding on it.

I also have to say, the bug bite thing was too vague, I think. I had no idea what to make of it. I got that the bug bites brought Rodney back, but I assumed it was an accident and was trying to think why John had been near the bugs. But almostnever explained that John did it on purpose to pull Rodney back (telesilla hadn't picked up on that, either), but I never would have guessed that.

It's otherwise well-written, though, and I like the machine itself and basically everything about the story except the little detail of it being for ascension, which just really kept tripping me up.

Romance Not Included by danceswithgary 2/5
19,800 words. There's one important thing to remember about islands; the only way to guarantee you'll find what you're looking for is to bring it with you.

This starts off with Rodney and Sam coming to a resort together, and our introduction to Sam is as the horrible bitch who just doesn't understand Rodney. Blech. Rodney is bitching for several paragraphs, but when Sam acts annoyed with him, it's enough to make John wince and think to himself that he doesn't envy Rodney. She then leaves him for Jack not long after. Basically, in order to get John and Rodney together, we have to have an unreasonable bitch for contrast? What was even the point of having Sam in this fic?

Then towards the end, we get John coming out to Rodney, and he says, "It's not that I don't like women, but sometimes sex with guys is just...easier. All you have to do is show up. It's a bonus if they can actually put up with your crap and stick around for more than one night." Because everyone knows women are weird alien creatures who want stuff (probably like the fancy diamond ring Rodney had bought for Sam) and need commitment, but guys are all sex, all the time and just want one-night stands. Mmm...stereotypes!

Aside from that, there was also the fact that either the author was very rushed and reached a point where they didn't have time to do anything but exposition and summarise (which unfortunately happened to be right at the point where John and Rodney go from being antagonistic to friendly, so while there's tons of showing how Rodney is so annoying, when it comes to showing how John falls for Rodney, we get several paragraphs of exposition filled with key fanon bits and cliches), or else they thought that since John and Rodney are obviously destined for each other, all we need is exposition filled with a few key fanon bits and cliches. I lean towards rushing, since the misunderstandings at the end were also rather rushed and resolved within a few lines. :-/

Day 10: Point of No Return

Shine Like the Sun by busaikko 4/5 Recommended
7200 words. Detective John Sheppard knew Ava Dixon was trouble as soon as she walked into his office looking for her brother.

I haven't read much (anything?) set in the Vegas universe, though I'm pretty sure there's quite a bit. I really loved this, though. Rodney is very skeevy, which I always like, and no one is really a nice person. Great stuff.

I really love the opening paragraph: The sun was shining through the windows, brilliant and glorious, when the woman walked into Detective John Sheppard's office. Later, he thought that was kind of funny; later, when he knew he was dead. Nothing gets you hooked like "later, when he knew he was dead".

Those Three Words by argosy 3/5
5700 words. John has something he wants to say, but it won't be easy.

The title and summary basically made me think this was going to be horrible, so I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It really was too fluffy for me, but it was well-written and definitely better than the last few of these I read (which were, obviously, not the ones in this post; I haven't been reading in order), so it was a pleasant surprise. People who like happy OTP fluff will probably like it even more.